I’m on an emotionally roller coaster. But I only go up because I have to. I have to be up to leave my apartment. Leave my bed. Get myself dressed and act normal.
I don’t feel normal. I feel weird. I’m the weirdest out of place thing that ever was. Sometimes I can embrace my weirdness – feel empowered by it. But then the darkness creeps in and taints the weird back to the gross, out of place thing that I know I am.
I’m just weird. All I’ve wanted is to be normal and fit in – even though normal has never felt right either.
So, I go Down and Up then Down again – always hoping that the Up will last a little bit longer.